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A Glossary of Terms Explained With Your Mum Doing The Washing

josdidit:

Capitalism: your mum washes does the washing. You pay her a dollar. She complains. You call the police and claim she was rioting.

Communism: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. Every night you salute a photo of your dad.

Socialism: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking. Everyone is theoretically happy.

Fascism: your mum does the washing under the threat of violence

Nazism: your mum does the washing. You gas the laundry room

Feudalism: your mum does the washing and pays you tax

Liberalism: you watch your mum do the washing and feel really really bad. “Something must be done” you say. Something may or may not get done

Libertarianism: your mum does the washing. You believe you did it

Religion: your mum does the washing. You thank god

Atheism: your mum does the washing. You make a YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence she did, in fact, do the washing

Misogyny: you hate your mum whether or not she does the washing

Patriarchy: your mum doesn’t exist. The washing is mysteriously done

Men’s Rights Activism: your mum does the washing.You call her a whore.

Matriarchy: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking.  You are really happy pulling your weight in the house

Gamergate-ism: your mum mentioned in her blog she does the washing. You doxed her

Feminism: your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing

White feminism:

your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing


Anti feminism: your mum has left you. A year later, You wrote “fucking whore” with the dirty clothes on the floor

Hollywoodism:

you are Colin Farrell. Your mum is Angelina Jolie. There is sexual tension. An unnamed black maid does the washing

Islamophobia:

your mum does the washing. She left out a sock. You brand her a hygiene terrorist.


Racism

: your mum does the washing. She blames black people


Cultural appropriation-ism

: While your mum does the washing, You steal her dirty clothes and mimic her in public. Public gives you money.

Colonialism: you barge into mum’s room. Claim you “discovered” her room. Dump your dirty clothes on the floor

Geekism: your mum does the washing and dry cleans your cosplay outfit. You build a robot that plays chess and cricket. You sell robot to Google.

Neo capitalism: your mum does the washing. You pay her a dollar. You get her to do your mates washing. Your mate pays you £50

Corporation-ism: your mum considers not doing the washing. u pay your mate £35 to lobby on ur behalf. No dice. You sue your mum for “emotional sabotage”

Americanism: your mum does the washing. It’s in the constitution. END OF DISCUSSION

Ableism: your mum forgot to do the washing. You call her a “retard.”

Mis-genderism: “cheers dude” you say, as your mum does the washing. She tells you she’s not a dude. “Whatever dude”, you say

Mansplaining: your mum does the washing. You tell her how best to do the washing. You have never done the washing.

Sexism: of course your mum does the washing. Duh.

Cat-calling:

your mum does the washing. You wolf whistle at your mum. You are oblivious as to how fucking creepy this is.


Rape culture:

it’s mum’s fault she does the washing/she asked to do the washing/she doesn’t do the washing as much as she says she does


Misandry: that one time your mum refused to do the washing is proof she hates you

Egalitarianism:

that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal and no one needs feminism any more


Hip Hop: everyday im hustling/ every day I’m hustling/ when I bring the basket/mama put the washing in.

Callout culture: your mum’s washing is problematic so you unfollow/block/subtweet/dose her mentions in acid.

Homophobia:

you think it’s unnatural that your mum doesn’t do the washing. Against gods will, even


Hotepism:

Black women are queens.  The white man is a devil. The black race must open their eyes. Mum does the washing.


 Narcissism: You look good in the clothes your mum washed

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